How new mothers can cope with post-pregnancy emotions

For many women, new motherhood can present a roller coaster of emotions. And from your infant’s first day home, to their first smile, the vast majority of these feelings are overwhelmingly positive.

But just as the roller coaster moves upwards, so does it dive downwards occasionally, too.

“Having a baby is supposed to be such a happy, joyful time,” says Dr. Samantha Meltzer-Brody, M.D., a psychiatrist and director of the Center for Women’s Mood Disorders at the University of North Carolina. “But more than one in eight new moms will experience postpartum depression. And unfortunately, that can come with a lot of stigma and a real sense of shame.”

From the “baby blues”—a couple of weepy days or weeks as your hormones crash back to pre-pregnancy levels—to full-blown depression, the postpartum period can be an enormous challenge, both physically and mentally.

So be prepared, advises Michele Ewing, R.N., B.S.N., C.C.M., Manager, Case and Condition Management, who oversees the maternity program called Baby BluePrints at Independence Blue Cross, since women are more likely to develop depression now than at any other time of their life. 

That means there’s a good chance you’ll have a case of the baby blues. “That’s a very common experience,” she says. “Lots of women experience bouts of crying for no reason, fatigue, restlessness, sadness, mood changes, and even insomnia.”  Throw in a baby’s strange sleep schedule, and it’s no wonder new moms may be feeling down.

How to deal with baby blues and postpartum depression

“Let your spouse or significant other know how you’re feeling so that they can help you through this time,” Ewing suggests. “It may be challenging, but try to get some regular rest, eat a balanced diet, and let family or friends help you with household chores or mind your other children.”

That can give you some time to heal—and some super-important time to bond with baby. “Keep communicating your feelings,” she says. “Within a few days, you’ll probably start to feel a lot better.”

But for some mothers, those baby blues turn into serious—and potentially dangerous—postpartum depression. Experts aren’t exactly sure why, but possible causes range from hormonal changes following pregnancy to the constant sleep deprivation of new motherhood. One recent animal study showed that postpartum depression may be triggered by chronic stress during pregnancy.

One thing we know for sure: Those with a history of depression have a greater chance of experiencing it now.

If your feelings of sadness go on for more than two weeks, explains Ewing, you might have postpartum depression. “The symptoms tend to be more severe than baby blues,” she says, “and can include anger, guilt, and withdrawal from family members—including the baby. The most alarming signs are thoughts of harming yourself or the baby.”

Be on the lookout for these symptoms:

• Persistent sadness
• Anxiety
• Feelings of being overwhelmed or “empty”
• Panic attacks
• Chronic fatigue
• Decreased interest in activities
• Sense of self-doubt
• Different sleep or eating patterns
• Hopelessness, helplessness, guilt
• Irritable or angry moods
• A sense of detachment from the baby
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions

If you’re experiencing any of the symptoms listed above, try these tips.

1.     Talk to your doctor. “Get in touch with your obstetrician or primary care provider as soon as possible,” advises Ewing. There are effective treatments available, including antidepressant medication. An important word of caution, though: “If you’re by yourself and feeling overwhelmed, and think you may harm yourself or the baby, call 9-1-1 for help right away,” says Ewing. “Once the crisis has passed, your doctors will be able to get you quickly on the road to recovery.”

2.     Reach out to your partner, family, and friends. “Never try to keep these feelings to yourself,” says Ewing. Even a quick text to a sympathetic friend can boost your mood.

3.     Connect with a counselor or a support group. “Counseling and support will help you start to feel more like yourself,” says Ewing. Can’t get out to a counselor’s office or a group meeting? A telemedicine visit can be just as helpful. In one recent study, only 10 percent of women with postpartum depression were still depressed after 12 weeks of phone counseling, compared with 35 percent of those in the control group.

4.     Get moving. Pop the baby in the stroller and head outside for a walk. “Once you have your doctor’s OK to resume normal activities, try exercise,” suggests Ewing. Exercise is a great way to get some of the body’s feel-good endorphins flowing and get oxygen to your brain.